An Open Letter to Robin Williams

Dear Mr. Williams,

I watched a preview for one of your upcoming movies yesterday. Oh Robin (May I call you Robin?). You are like a pizza topped with feta cheese and sardines. You take a bite and taste wonderful feta. Then you take another bite and find a sardine and wonder why you subject yourself to such things.

You see, I'll watch a movie like Dead Poets Society and I think "Ah, Robin Williams. Such a great actor!" Then I remember Bicentennial Man and wonder how I was talked into watching that sardine of a movie. Then there is a movie like Good Will Hunting and you talk me into liking you again. Then I watch Man of the Year and I'm doubting your taste and sanity again.

But I'm not here just to offer criticism and call you a pizza. I'm here with a solution. I believe that one of the reasons artists (actors, musicians, graphic artists, etc) often make such fowl decisions regarding their art is that they aren't able to make rational decisions while they're in the trenches. What you need is an outside observer--someone whose opinion has not been clouded by the Hollywood machine or the L.A. atmosphere. In other words, you need me.

The next time someone sends you a script about a 45-year-old man who is going through a mid-life crisis and decides to join a roller derby and then finds his true self after eight weeks of tough love--give me a call. Let me read the script and I'll hit you over the head with it and help you realize that just because a script is different or controversial, doesn't mean it's good. Just walk away.

Make wise decisions Robin.

Yours sincerely,
Tiffany